Sexual Promiscuity Leads to Cruelty

Linda was one of the nicest girls in Brookline High School, class of 1985.

The class nerds could talk to her and she was always friendly and kind, yet she remained respected by the popular kids - usually those who respond with friendliness to the class nerds get shunned a bit, but not her.

She dated a fellow that she said she is hoping to marry. When you saw them together, she would gaze at him admiringly. I do not know why they broke up, but rarely did I see anyone date in the 11th grade in Brookline High and end up marrying each other.

Then she started experimenting with promiscuity.

I saw her transform from a sunny optimistic girl to an increasingly bitter young woman.

Once at school she was wearing short shorts, and some guy fondled her bare leg, she laughed and pulled back. 

Why did she laugh? To stay in the social group.

Why did she pull back? That was her soul talking, in contradiction to her behavior. Your psyche craves boundaries, it actually does not crave sexual promiscuity or anything connected to it.

In college, she had intimate relationships with both men and women.

At a summer job, she wore short shorts, halter tops, and every time she sat, spread out her legs, sometimes with one knee raised on a nearby chair, or say the car door. She was exposing her body as much as possible.

She said the following to myself and to Julie and Nina:

"My boyfriend is upset with me, he said, 'I never know if you are sleeping with Anna,' Julie and Nina  laughed, but I was offended by her callous attitude regarding her boyfriend's need for commitment, for being hurt for being cheated on. I saw that I was the odd one out. There was my friend from childhood laughing along with her, while I was stunned and sad at this scene.

Previously kind young women had turned callous - and it was because of sexual promiscuity.

Sexual promiscuity leads to cruelty.  If you are sensitive, either because you were the rejected young man or because you were a stunned eavesdropper, you better pack your bags and look elsewhere - like towards those who truly practice safe sex, and this is what safe sex really is:

Safe Sex is:

Only having sex after you are in a committed relationship, and only if you prepared to handle a pregnancy.

Marry. Commit. Use birth control of you wish, but if it does not work, be prepared to cope with a pregnancy, which can actually become your greatest joy.

Then something even stranger happened: Nina parked her car in a public garage, a man opened his pants and flashed her, she was vary shaken up, and I accompanied her to report this crime. Linda did not show any concern.

Julie later told me, "Nina was very appreciative of your support, and was surprised that Linda was totally disinterested."

Well, Linda herself was flashing, with the way she dressed and held herself. She was breaking the walls of sexual promiscuity by sleeping with multiple partners of both sexes, and bragging about it; she was a revolutionary, not exactly trying to make other people feel comfortable. And it led her to not even care when her friend suffered because she was flashed by a man.

I had known her in high school, I saw her transformation. The purpose of her mode of dress and promiscuity were to kill her feelings, and kill the senses of others also, regarding sexual boundaries ie modesty. Oh such a mode of thought could even accuse the so called "patriarchy" of inventing modesty in order to "control women" and the like.

Why the bragging? She bragged about hurting a man because sexual promiscuity causes pain to the soul. Her bragging was a way to release that pain: by making someone else feel it - the cuckold. 

She also would tell people about her bisexual non-marital promiscuity in order to offend them and break societal norms. She was causing discomfort via social interactions, again, as a dumping ground for the pain her soul was in.

I saw this dynamic elsewhere too - Julie bragged that a former boyfriend bumped into her and said to Julie, in front of his new girlfriend, how much he would like to see her again, Julie then bragged to me about how this former boyfriend still likes her and how his new girlfriend was hurt by this - I retorted, finally, "I can understand how she would be hurt." and Julie just went stiff, no regrets, no sensitivity.

I saw the transformation of kind young women into braggarts that like to hurt others. Because that is where they dumped their inner feeling that something is deeply wrong with sex outside marriage.

 If they had preserved their boundaries, none of these bitter and cynical actions and attitudes ever would have happened.

If you have crossed your own sexual boundaries, it is never too late, you can reclaim them.

All you have to do is practice safe sex: within a commitment, and being ready to parent.

(names have been changed)