You can wait, and you can parent.

 We did not know how to abstain.

We were taught that to be a good parent you had to be "ready",  have a career, money and already know how to parent.

Then I met Christians, then orthodox Jews, then religious Muslims.

Here is how you abstain from sex before you are ready to parent:

 1 - Curb your sexual frustration:

- Do not date until you are ready to marry.

- Avoid socializing in mixed-gender situations.

 - Do not listen to suggestive music.

- Do not watch suggestive media. 

- Do not attend parties in which boys and girls are mixing freely, and definitely not at night, and definitely not if there is drinking, dancing, and suggestive music.

 - Do not imagine you can just sex play without intercourse.

 You may be even a bit unfriendly at times. That is fine. 

Lee, a Chinese American high school student, was remarkably cool to me. He came for one day to Middlebury College, 1986, to visit my freshman roommate and have a tour to see if he would like to apply. I asked afterwards what I had done wrong that Lee was so unfriendly. My roomate replied, "oh, he does not talk to girls, he refuses to date until he graduates college. He says that college is a crucial time when you are building yourself. After he gets his engineering degree, then he will date."

I was stunned. 

Then, later, I agreed.

2 - Be around chaste people:  if you are secular, tell religious people, "I need religious friends. I need to socialize with you and be around you because you are modest. But please do not preach to me." You WILL find acceptance. (Thank you, Kim, Nadia, and Miriam, for your acceptance back when I was secular.)

3 - Wait until you are able to parent before you have heterosexual sex.

- Do not imagine that birth control always works. If your are in a mature relationship and feel ready to parent, but you wish to wait before having kids, use the rhythm method coupled with a barrier method, or some such combination. Double up! But remember, you may get pregnant.

Parenting:

You do not need money. You do not need to be perfect. You just need the basic stable routines that everyone needs, that you benefit from already. All you have to be is a good example. Lecturing does not work. The best way to parent is: be what you want to be, and what you would like others to be. 

Children are natural geniuses. They can sense what parents need. From a small age, they can actually be like a little pal. You are mistaken if you think you need reams of money and tons of wisdom to parent.

You can wait, and you can parent.

 My personal conversion was when I realized that you need to wait until you are in a committed relationship and ready to parent before engaging in heterosexual sex. This was a conversion, and not just changing my mind, because it was a serious departure from the liberal-left ideology I grew up with in the 1970's and 80's, Brookline Massachusetts, and Middlebury college VT: the liberal-left wants  you to feel stuck. True sexual liberation is being in control of your sexual desires, not controlled by them.